There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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