i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
