just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
