Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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