I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
