Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
