Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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