Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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