i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
