so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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