i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
