make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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