Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
