just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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