I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
