I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize