Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Everclear isn't food dammit
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
