can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I won the penis lottery.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
