You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
