when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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