omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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