another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
