Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
