That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
