Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
