No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
