You really coming over, don't trick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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