so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
