franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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