I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
