i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
