have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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