and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
