so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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