Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
