some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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