@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
