I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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