3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
