Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
