i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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