Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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