My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
