I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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