Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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