But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i was born a porn star she said
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
