Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
