With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
