? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
