sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
