lets start a swedish sibling band together
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
