We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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