hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
