i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
